I wrote for an audience, to increase my consciousness and to improve my ability to concentrate. I went on doing so for 60 years. I learned to handle grains of mental dust by encapsulating them in words. I switched from handwriting to typing on a computer keyboard. I pushed myself to deliver more than 500 words a day. I did so for 1600 days. I was proud. After all, I have delivered near to 1,2 million words lately.
Then, I encountered a ”wall of bricks”! Some bricks, I could not remove. That was a year ago. I eagerly hope I am recovering. To be specific, those major bricks were:
1. Do I write for an audience?
2. Did my consciousness increase?
3. Conscious of what?
4. What roles do my consciousness play?
5. For what did I improve my ability to concentrate?
6. For what did I blind myself?
7. Do my words say something?
8. What to they tell to whom?
9. Did shifting to typing affect my writing style positively?
To me, these nine questions are hard ones. I have no answers to them. And I mistrust my capacity to deliver solutions. Specifically, I distrust those quick and ego-centred solutions I tend to provide. I better direct the questions to the core of my soul and remain patient. That is, waiting long enough for answers. I have to put “my analytical intellect” on hold. It does not work properly when applied to the questions given above
Göran Stille 
Hi Goren. You have posted nine questions you are having a hard time with. Perhaps you need to restate them. For example, with question number one, perhaps ask, “For which audience am I writing?” and number seven perhaps ask,” What words are necessary to tell my story to this particular audience?” I can think of others, but since you are looking for a way to further your writing and you are hung on these nine, restating them, and in the course of it, re-examining the premises that underlie them, can get you beyond the blocks.
As stated, to me the questions sound more like subtle depreciation’s than avenues to self-knowledge.
In my opinion, you have everything you need to both progress in your writing, and therefore your thinking. I love that you are working to push beyond your own limits. We are both about the same age, and (again, in my opinion) it is just this push to learn and grow, that makes this otherwise painful time of life, worth living. Yours, Dr. Bob
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I very much appreciate your comment. Specifically those words of “subtle depreciations”. This time my intellectual guard did not show up the same old way. Thus I tried to rephrase those nine points. I abandoned ” the glass is half empty” expressions and rephrased them in “the glass is half full ” – style.
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