One thread through my history
I look back, and two experiences emerge from the background. One is these is a few minutes I encountered with a friend, Catharina, in late 2015. The other is those few minutes with another friend, Bengt, in 2016. I experienced these moments just like that. Immediately, I became curious and asked myself why they happened. But soon, I accepted that they were beyond understanding. At least, they were beyond my level of understanding. In a sense, there is no point in showing or describing these events. Such an act would never carry the values they have given me. I suspect that such an action will even reduce and freeze that space in me that I have established.
Since 1980, I have talked about the value I think that such empty spaces have to humans. That is for 37 years or almost half my life. But, I have not yet been able to change my pattern of action.
Just now
At this moment, October 2017, I believe that my worst enemy is myself. At least my ability to establishing empty spaces in my daily agenda. My overheated urge to be smart, intelligent has been running the show. I have mobilised armed troops in this battle. Old thoughts, attitudes, values and habits are the troops. I even consider them proven in battle.
Everywhere, the troops are now waving with white cloths. No single kind of troops won. I have found and respected an elementary zone of emptiness. This area is even free from ideas on how to maintain or expand it. It is free from teaching others how to get there. In fact, this might be a meaning of ”it is” that I cannot ever express or verbalise in any way.
At a distance
Regard your life as a continuum in both space and time. You have to establish a zone of emptiness somewhere in this continuum. A segment in your everyday agenda where your creativity can play. It is of value to you if you clean it from all of your previous ideas about what you need to do in and with that segment. Your history of ambition, intellect and emotions might well be your worst enemy. Try to align whatever guts you have in giving yourself respect for this empty segment in your living of your life!
Göran Stille 
Goran
I take from this post that you are advocating rather than blast into life with self confidence and bravado- believing you can shape your reality and claim your positive destiny- have some humility and take the lower place, considering others better than yourself. Take the posture of the learner, not the teacher, the one who can learn something from another- anyone in fact. be gone with external criteria of competence- we can learn from those uneducated, young or old, for they are themselves wonderful in their uniqueness. Recognizing the emptiness within- that I do not possess all the answers- is a place of wisdom.
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I do not quite understand what you want to communicate to me. Please clarify what you think I do, that is “advocating” and what you teach me not to do!
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Goran
Thank you for telling me up front what I am writing is not clear.
Firstly I was not personalizing it at all- but seeking to understand what you were saying.
You have learnt that self promotion is empty- but rather you seek to own the emptiness within and allow others to be themselves- and you seek to learn from them.
My comments regarding humility etc were strengths you desire to attain and exercise- so no personal criticism was ever, ever intended.
How did I go this time?
Kind regards
Geoff
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Ego is like a woman; can’t live with her, can’t live without her. We all, men and women alike, struggle with this eternal conundrum, where is the silent space? and who wants it? Thanks for putting it out here. Dr. Bob
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Sorry, I do not understand why you start talking about “ego being like a woman…” Please explain this to me..
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Here in the states that is an old saw, used to define ‘conundrum’. Dr. Bob
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