New Challenge: STEP 7 – Reflect on last weeks writing.

 

Too much water, sand and clay and no visible nuggets.

I have been free writing for a significant number of days. Old habits in my way to write have taken too large a grip on the content of my free writing. I long for old habits to withdraw and new ones to emerge. I became interested in following the prompts given by James Prescott. He distributes them to you if you subscribe to a group on Facebook named ”Writers Together.”

How did this first week go with prompts from James? I start answering this question by beginning in the other end. This morning, and in my local newspaper, I read about being creative. The argument was that if you make different parts of your brain to cooperate, then you will become creative. To me, this statement is of low, almost no value. It is easy to formulate it and to pretend that it is that missing piece of essential information. But it has limited value as compared to the efforts, skills and stamina I need to make my brain act that way.

I think of this as an example of a way to threat knowledge that is destructive. Unfortunately, I often handle knowledge this way myself. But, I would prefer if it happened less frequent. Maybe it is a cultural thing. In the culture I live in, the underlying code is that being conscious is of high value. We teach the coming generation that so it is. But we make it a one-sided teaching. We avoid all the negative consequences of this attitude and this mode of education. We blind ourselves to the limits of the brand of learning that is the consequence. We become blind to the fact that remembering knowledge does not influence our actions. Not to any great extent. In fact, a set of different parameters controls the way we act. They do not include that of conscious memory of knowledge.

What does control what happens? The widespread and conscious knowledge is not always in control. Humans have experienced many examples when this is not the case. Some are historical. Some are going on in the world just now. Obscure and individually carried agendas have their say.

But stop here. I am slipping away from what I started to write. What does the above statement have to do with answering the call? I think that the questions given do influence me to respond analytically. That is to tickle nothing but one side of my brain. And that has little to do with doing the same the other half. And with making my halves cooperate.

So I feel forced to answer the question above through acting and acting only. So what am I to do? I observe my words and thoughts. I conclude they run along old tracks. I need to take a firm grip on what I think of valuable habits and elements of my identity. I need to jump straight out into the wilderness. I need to disconnect from seeing or remembering a thing. I need to detach from any idea of what I am about to do. This concept would scare my old self. Scare it stiff. But trying to play the role of an author means to do this.

Talking about or action? Now?……

Once upon a time. He sat in a decent chair writing his daily chunk of words. He scratched his right chin. He sensed that there was a minimal inflammation at the root of one of this teethes. A minor disturbance that stayed stable through the last three years, at least.

Outside the morning was cold. A mist had clouded his view for the last hour. Now, the sun started to show who is in charge of this day in January. His responsibility this day, was to take care of the dog of his son. The son and his family visited a beautiful place in the south of Europe called Cap Verde. The dog was at rest warming his feet.

Now is a moment when everything is okay. No agenda, plan, rules or regulations are stealing the show. Moments like this one has been rare to him ever since he was born. Now he slipp into these moments at increased frequency.

His style of writing did annoy him. Its was adequate long time ago but not today. He had to find another form, a new and more rewarding one. All sorts of ambitions were waiting in the bushes. They could make him terminated his efforts before he even got started. So he decided not to take any notice of them. Not in the stage of free writing. He considered editing as the phase to take care of them.

I feel that my writing runs in a new way using James´ prompts. But I believe this change is not that much dependent on the articulation of these prompts. I think the reason is that some change has happened to me, to the author to come. I read these prompts in a new manner. I run along writing in a way that is more free. So my gain from 1200 days of free writing is due to something I cannot describe. I do not have words for it. At least I do not want to put words to it.

Although, one specific thing is worth mentioning. During this last week, I have published my writing on a blog. I lock back on these entries and conclude that it was far easier to summarize seven days of writing. I have had the ambition to approach the outcome of my 1200 days of writing. But that was impossible. Too much water, sand and clay and no visible nuggets.