How to continue my blogging.

I did just restart writing for my blog. My present strategy in this work is to search my way forward. It concerns subject, language, style, purpose and how to keep at it. I am not conscious of why I write and how I want to do it, not yet. Maybe I have some idea hovering deep down in my subconscious. For obvious reasons, I cannot tell you anything about it.
Already some individuals may have identified an attitude in what I do. I am not teaching nor preaching about anything. Neither do I favor what I believe is right or valuable. A lot of writers do, but I don´t. For me, writing is a way to reorient myself in the present reality. In doing this, I want to have access to fresh eyes and those insights I have found along my life path. It is easy to pretend oriented on the level of words. To show it in action is not. I am aware of this. I will fall into that trap. Most humans do. I hope to detect when it has happened and withdraw.
So what is the first step I take after my previous contributions? I looked at my image of frozen water in-between ridges of soil. I presented this picture in my last blog entry. Today, my reaction to what I see is different from last night. I skipped my old interpretation of this image and related to it with direct emotions. My old analytical and mental machinery was on hold. This change in reaction occurred directly with no conscious preamble. I enjoyed this.
Yesterday, I described myself as a victim of being quick in generating helicopter views. I often do so instead of staying in what is. I may do the same today and get trapped in a blind alley. Today, the same function gave me a view that to me is positive and rewarding.
Did my writing influence this last consequence? I do not have any strong ideas about that. In writing, I have followed the motto ”just do it”. I have done so to a large extent and pushed my head into a wall of bricks. I concluded that I cannot think may way through this obstacle. I cannot make a problem out of it nor solve it with my engineering skills. I cannot pass it by following any known and proven methods or solid handrails. The content of my writing chokes me but the actual writing does not. I am fed up with it as there is no change or outcome that I can detect. I must look like a Don Quijote, the Old man and the Sea, or The Flying Dutchman as I proceed in the same old track forever. Am I to find a solution to this dilemma that neither character nor their authors managed?
Or does my writing idea concern my way of unloading from a something similar? I mean the stigma of worshipping the value of accumulated previous experiences and proceeding along the same line forever.

Göran Stille